All the time we hear people say things like, “Life is really crazy right now, but deep down I know everything’s going to work out,” or “Deep down I know I’ll be fine, but right now I’m really scared,” or “Deep down I know there’s a reason for this.” We say those things as passing phrases when we are in the middle of stressing about something, like a breakup or losing a job; then we dismiss them and go right back to worrying about whatever is going wrong in our lives. But what if deep down is actually a place we could live? What if part of us already knows that no matter what we are going through, everything is going to be totally okay in the end? What if deep down was our default setting?
When we say, “Deep down I know everything is going to be okay,” we are admitting that there is some kind of knowing inside of us that is bigger than whatever part of us is concerned with what is happening in that moment. We are aware that a space of calm is there, but it is so far removed from our experience we actually call it something different. We say, “Deep down I know that everything is going to be alright,” instead of just saying, “I know everything is going to be alright.” Or just simply, “Everything is fine.” We choose to identify more with the worrying than with the knowing deep inside ourselves.
If we know that place is inside us somewhere, why don’t we access it and live from that place all the time? It is probably because our minds do not actually want everything to be okay. Our minds are constantly looking for new problems to solve because problem solving is what our minds are built for. The mind believes that if suddenly we did not have any problems to solve, then it would be out of a job.
Our minds come up with thousands of reasons why we are not okay in any given moment. We are too fat, we are too skinny, we do not have enough money, we do not have the right relationship, we are not good-looking, or we are too good-looking… we are always looking for reasons in our external circumstances to prove why we should not be happy. Somewhere underneath the madness of all these crazy thoughts running around our heads, is the knowing that regardless of that, we are perfect, we are loved, we are love.
In our society, most of us choose not to live in that deep down knowing; instead we live in the shallow place of believing what the mind tells us about ourselves, and our circumstances. Because the majority of people are living in that place, when we want to feel connection, instead of just connecting with ourselves deep down, we end up connecting with other people at that superficial level and everyone just ignores that deeper place within themselves. That is why so many guys connect to each other by watching football instead of sitting in a circle talking about what they are actually feeling. Some guys sit around in circles talking about their feelings, but mostly they are feelings about football.
It is fine to connect around those types of things. However, connecting primarily through things like that has trained us to live on the surface level of life; not seeing beyond the external circumstances into the truth that everything is always working out and there is never a reason to worry about anything. We buy into the fact that we need to fix the world around us and there are all of these problems, but underneath that belief is the understanding that everything we see with our eyes is part of the perfection of life that is constantly growing and evolving.
Through meditation and inner work, I have become more and more aware of that voice that is always trying to fix things on the surface level of life. As I sit and watch that voice trying to create and solve problems in my mind, I start to feel as if the presence of a deep knowing is wrapping itself around that voice; letting it know everything is going to be okay. It is almost like that voice is a kid having a tantrum and ‘Deep Down’ is the parent that is just watching and comforting the child.
What if you knew you could think anything and still be loved? What if you could think the most judgmental, spiteful thing and still be loved? What if you could feel any emotion—anger, rage, guilt—and you would still be loved, no matter what? Well, you can. Your mind will try to convince you that if you think or feel a certain way, you are wrong or bad somehow, but that space deep down is just like a loving parent guiding you back to the truth that nothing about you is wrong.
If you move into that deep down space, and start to operate from the perspective that everything about you is loved, it allows all the things you are ashamed of to come to the surface to be loved and accepted. As a by-product they will actually lose the power you have given them and start to dissolve. It is like bullies who feed on you getting annoyed and putting up a fight—as soon as you decide not react, or even find things you like about them, the dynamic of the relationship changes; it is not fun for them to pick on you anymore. I wish I knew that in middle school.
Everything we see with our eyes is part of the perfection of life that is constantly growing and evolving.
Thoughts can show up one after another, but if you are more connected to deep down than you are to believing you are your thoughts, you will start to find those thoughts do not own you the way they used to. You will not be afraid of them
anymore; so instead of picking up some addictive thing to distract you from your
thoughts, you can connect to the space that totally sees through all of those illusions.
What has changed for me over the last several years is that instead of just visiting
deep down in those moments of chaos, I am starting to actually live in deep down. It is possible to live in a place of not just optimism or positivity, but an experiential knowing that nothing can go wrong and nothing you think or feel is wrong. It is a place of total acceptance of yourself and others that gives you a safe space where your mind can become creative and expansive instead of living in fear, repression and shame.
It is our job to start living in deep down before we do anything else. Instead of living
in chaos, when you live in deep down, problems begin to disappear; you realize
many of your problems were really just in your mind. You become rooted in natural
optimism and excitement for life, rather than trying to manipulate external circumstances in an attempt to obtain momentary glimpses of freedom or peace. We cannot take truly powerful and meaningful action in this world until we have transcended the mind’s need to fix and solve the endless surface-level problems that it creates.
But what if deep down is not a place to live, and it is actually just what we are?”
With two #1 Comedy Central specials to his credit, Kyle Cease ignites sold-out audiences at his Evolving Out Loud events with his unique blend of comedy and personal evolution. He is a comedian, transformational speaker and the New York Times Bestselling author of I Hope I Screw This Up, a hilarious journey into the endless possibilities that appear if we just dare to let go of our fear of screwing up. He helps his audiences release their anxiety and fear so they can bring their highest potential into the world. www.KyleCease.com.